You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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