You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Randomize
