dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
