Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
