In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
