I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
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