Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
