i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize