I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Randomize
