FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
