i don't plan on having that self control this summer
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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