My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
