just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Randomize