this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
