Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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