weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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