He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Randomize
