How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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