That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
