I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize
