im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
