LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
