Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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