You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
