Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
