I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
