Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Randomize
