I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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