i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
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