If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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