that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Randomize
