..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I could have mohawked her pubes.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
