Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
