I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
