sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
