Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
How external is "for external use only"?
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize