A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
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