Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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