I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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