I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
