i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
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