I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
