He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Randomize
