Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
