I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
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