She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
