the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
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