giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
It's official drugs can't kill me
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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