Non-Jews are for practice
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Randomize
