Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Randomize
