So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Randomize
