So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
