Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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