i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Girls should come with a carfax report
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
