You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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