You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
