Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
