you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
