let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize