this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
so much tequila, so little girl.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Randomize
