I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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