How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
