It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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